Hej hello friend!
Another year has come and gone. Anyone that knows me knows that I resist giving into any feelings, fully valid or unwarranted, of optimistic hope towards things before reality has had a chance to run her course. Obviously there’s something to be said about past experiences of disappointment, childhood traums, my Libra Moon being in Costco Rising or whatever other miscellanea you’d like to assign those attributes. But either way, there are thoughts being felt, feelings being pondered, and experiences being lived. I’m not SAYING that this year was Floptropica Island. But I’m also not saying that this year was a Gaggasaurus Rex. Y’know?
There’s a part of me that feels like it’s rude to express (or assign) feelings of disappointment to an overall year, given the abundance of experiences and interactions that I’m afforded on any given week in this line of work. When I look at my numbers, it really did feel like a year of failure. I didn’t earn as much as I did last year. I didn’t do as many test shoots as I did last year. There were fewer overall inquiries compared to prior years. There were more clients than ever that I failed to secure.
Like, it feels bad when you think about it in that way! There’s no denying that. But at the same time there was some really cool stuff that happened too!
This year I got to talk to several clients that I’d dreamed of working with for YEARS.
This year I was fortunate enough to join the ranks of a wonderful community in Diversify Photo.
This year I was able to become a peer of some truly phenomenal photographers through my new Production Paradise membership.
This year I was able to get my portfolio reviewed by some editors at dream orgs.
This year marked long anticipated return to editorial work that I’ve long missed.
This past year I started making tacos at home a lot more. Like, the amount of sour cream I’ve consumed this year alone probably amounts to what I’ve eaten in my entire life combined…several times over. Most of the time these tacos are either White People Tacos tm, or Crazy Chinese Tacos tm. On occasion I’ll try and make them as true to how they probably should be but what usually ends up happening is that I’m more focused on getting them into my gullet, as opposed to making them perfectly authentic. It’s not as though I was resisting tacos before. Whenever there was a party that had them or if I was feeling like eating some Mexican food I’d always get some tacos. But I never made it at home for some reason. There’s no real lesson I got from this recent realization. But somehow, it did drive home the feeling that not only is change constant — it’s also often in the most unexpected areas of your life. I, for one, am embracing this new taco-filled diet.
Back to the topic at hand. These accomplishments are all incredible things! They’re not things that dramatically changed the trajectory of my life at this current point in time, per se. But they’re things that I’ve once wished to achieve. So I’m okay with celebrating that. Even if that celebration is a bit more subdued.
There’s also the obligatory “I do love the work I do, so does it really count as work?” spiel, but I’m gonna need you to be chill for 10 minutes. Work is work, but also this work is so delightfully fun. And we got a lot of photos to look at. But if you wanna make some sparkly new photos this year, call me beep me if you wanna reach me.
Walk with me, will you?
Despite my inclinations toward doom, the nagging feeling of gratitude gently beckons me just around the corner. Whether or not I heed its call is an entirely different matter. But I’ll do my best, probably.
I think there’s a longer form blog post regarding these ideas behind gratitude vs disappointment and the responsibility we feel towards clients, but for the time being….I’m grateful for everything that I’ve been able to work on and everyone I’ve been able to meet. The very fact that we continue to persist is a victory in itself. If you’ve read this far: thank you!
This marks the conclusion of part 1 of this years photo review. I’ll have another one posted in the coming days containing my personal work :)
As always, thank you to everyone who’s supported me, worked with me, or been a part of this year. I’m grateful. I’m grateful to be able to continue this journey. I hope you enjoyed this selection of photos. Shoot me an email, messenger hawk, snail mail, smoke signal, whatever! Let’s try to make something cool in 2025 together. Or we can just make a taco dinner. That’s cool too.
- Winston